i trust my self 1
by RobinWright
Summary: it's about a girl who failed to be beautiful,kept comparing herself to others and uncertain of herself,she is good at writing but she began to be uncertain of her talent as well,all she got to to is a decision of changing her life upside down but will she do?
1. Chapter 1

I led sweet-horrible life.I didn't know the truth of life.I kept letting down myself.I got myself locked in the blaming was ,i'm bold enough to say sorry.I'm so sorry please forget and forgive?

myself says''u accuse me of ruining your diet plans and pushing u to addict bad habits.u forget that we're serve Rachel berry because we're Rachel ,but,you prefer a lot of people to me.U treat them better than me me didn't trust me for 26 years.''

''look ,Rachel we're inside eachother. We are more connected than a mother and her the page,I'll write all my sins.I mean all our sins.I'll do because i believe that if i write every bad experience and i admit my foolishness,i will get power for my life now and then''

''I won't interfere into your confessions .Even if u lay offence on me,on two conditions, we will never blame eachother and we will narrate as one who's Rachel.

i say''i love u Rachel,you are really my BFF''

On writing ''BFF'' ,I had Tina who claimed to be the frankly honest,but,she threw at me bombs of depression and all her life with me she accused me of wearing colors which don't match together.I had my sister who supported me but she sometimes quitted breathless.

Quinn is the one to was fascinating .on walking on any street,every man flirted with her.I was mad and the other hand i never wished to be believed in bad ohms and tragic fates.

To all these guys i forgive''Rachel forgives today everybody who made her mad.I'll tell start writing about the change in my turning point is change located between misery and satisfacation. Change is the best part in any story,So let's start with the start of change.''


	2. Chapter 2

i tried to forget all about our previous days.i began to think in a positive way.i was not Quinn and what was worth-knowing Rachel is beautiful in her way.

''womanizer u're a womanizer baby u drive me crazy i got u crazy.''That was For Will, but can i reach Will?

13 reasons why i couldn't be as Quinn or be loved by Will,here they are that i was unconfident,not super hottie,biting my nails,love aiming water at my vagina in the bathroom for a long time,fat,sensitive, thinking a lot about public reviews about me,dealing with good comments about me carelessly as if they were always said,wearing glasses,gaining knowledge about out of people,mocked by Quinn and Tina my best friends for what they call''unsuitable bad outfits'',on crying i felt insecure and gained more weakness and finally the never-told reason i didn't like at all is my gapped-front teeth.i didn't fix them, as it was expensive and i was not a billionaire's daughter. what i really liked about that is that people say about the front-gapped- teeth ones that they are lucky.i'm sounded like a loser but i was not,in fact all people in my school respected me.i read english novels fluently and i wrote poems in the school magazine .All the english teachers i've ever seen i got close to them and we became best friends except one honestly.i really wrote phrases for demonstrations of human rights at school. But all my reputation was only in one field.i really wanted to join some dancing club,i didn't want to be exaggerating,they were ridiculous clubs. Knowing all your bad things is the key to covert them into good things.i wouldn't do all this to impress Will.i'm not his doll. But i decided to do to prove to the whole world how lucky he would be with me and how i could change him from a womanizer to Rachelizer .

Quinn always said''he doesn't love,he's a womanizer,i can't ever look at him back''

my question is''did he really look at her?''

i wanted to attract attention like i've never done before.i decided to tell him about my crush and to look very elegant and catchy. please look at me ,stare at me and i'll stare back.


	3. Chapter 3

2 days i was riding my life on the right path and that day i felt perfect,i began to get whitened again and i really wanted to thank god and myself

''Thank God please God let be intelligent, successful ,beautiful and loved,i know i have made internal sins of jealousy and some curious deeds out of bad thoughts of God forgive me and cleanse my heart completely,i know i'm not an angel but i don't want to be a u are the most merciful,your forgiveness is the most relieving thing the one feel on earth.i can't forgive myself and i'm afraid to be envious person down the road.I'm afraid God too afraid and help her God if she deserves ur me be happy really from the bottom of my heart.I wish her joy and God make me stop comparing me to her and connecting our paths together.I want to make my own luck and steer clear of anyone's fate or concepts,Please God let me be a writer and be shown to the whole me make my name in Hollywood and make all on earth discover how wonderful person i'm.I don't wanna be a envious inside''.

All those feelings because when Quinn called me someday shortly after i decided to tell Will about my emotions,Quinn assured her breakup and felt sad,bad and mad.I tried to comfort her .Her hurt is deep, but nothing affected her strong beliefs in her magical beauty and infinite feminine.

To feminine charm''please come to me ,stay inside of me and show how i could be''

Bad feelings control us when we become happy because someone runs into trouble even if that someone your enemy, frenemy or BFF. I still love u Quinn but i'm sorry ,to err is a human,i really love u.


	4. Chapter 4

I decided to tell Will that i liked it was a crush ,But anyways he could have been a motivation for changing me.I met Quinn at Fox. (our favorite cafeteria where we could meet a lot of our school friends there)It's saturday night,the cafeteria was always full house at saturday nights.I got late ,but i apologized.

she said smilingly''no problem''.

her eyes weren't on me.

i said''no regrets live with u long'',

she interrupted''God knows how bad i felt but i can't spend my life time crying over dumb thing like him''.

i nodded and she added''Will is the most elegant today''.

I shivered ,turned around and said''as usual''.

she said'' u know last night i dreamt that i achieved all of my dreams and when i am about to smile and laugh out loud,i fall down between my lover's arms,guess who?''

I said''i've no idea''

The waiter interrupted''what would u like to have?''

after i ordered,i saw her smile.

I said''why are spreading joyful smiles from ur seat all over the globe?''

She said''to toilet''

I said''don't be late beautiful''.

After she went,i took a deep breathe.

I said to myself''no way to let him be will break my heart''

i turned around and checked where he was was talking to ,our english teacher,a few centimetres away from him his two best friends were laughing and they were standing all on the balcony.i made my way through the crowds,the balcony was crowded too,they only enjoyed the fresh air.i walked walked walked and Quinn called me out

I didn't look back and I kept walking till i reached my destination.I pretended that i wanted to talk to .he turned back and joined his friends.

I said''u know i feel so much anxious about joining college i i''

He interrupted and said''bye we have to go''

he offered a hand to be shaken by .I felt panic,it was my final chance and i had decided to shake back fastly before did. When i offered my hand for the shake,it was second of glory,confidence,deep close look in his eyes and suddenly It was hard to didn't even meet my eyes.I withdrew my hands at noticed except his two friends who laughed at that.I don't blame them, shaked hands with him.I didn't know what happened then because i stood on a frozen i remembered that they disappeared.

Russo told me''i'm sorry''.i got to Quinn.

i said with frown''what do u want?''

and she said''what's up?''

when i went home,i remembered what had happened and i kept laughing,it was ridiculous,funny and bold only thing i adore about that the deep close look in his lasted so long in my mind.I felt good as i'll never see him again in my 're not to be in the very college or in the very life forever,so nice what i had with u Will even if it's only in my mind.


End file.
